If you like olives, make this tonight. If you don’t like olives, we cannot be friends in real life. Fine. Yes, we can. We just can’t be the type of friends that sit around on a Thursday night throwing olives into each other’s mouths from across the living room.

You know what I’m tired of seeing? Paleo recipes that use quotation marks to delineate that the “Rice” or “Bread” in the recipe isn’t your standard grain-based rice or bread. It makes you feel like you’re losing out (you’re not). Like, “hey you know Rice, that sexy guy down the street? This isn’t him, but it’s Rice’s cute little sister “rice”‘. How about we just revise what those words mean and never use quotation marks again?

I had my first visit with a naturopathic doctor today. I have given up on the Western medical community. I am reserving their services the next time I sprain my ankle or need some advice on what not to do. I am super excited about her. She sent me home with a stool test. That should be fun. I had to take the train home with my nondescript white paper bag full of empty stool samples that cost $300. I was PARANOID that someone would choose this evening to mug me. I sometimes plan in my head what I will say if someone does try to rob me (“What would your mother say if she saw what you were up to?”) Tonight I decided a simple “That’s for my poop.” should ward off any villains.

Lamb with Olive Tapenade Rice

Serves 3-4 | Prep Time 10 minutes | Cook Time 14 minutes

1/2 cup Kalamata olives, pitted

1 tbsp chopped fresh Oregano

1 tbsp Olive oil

3 cups Butternut squash, cubes

1 lb Ground lamb

1/2 tsp Cinnamon

1/2 cup Raisins

1/2 tsp Sea salt

  1. Place olives, oregano, and olive oil in a food processor/blender and pulse until finely chopped. Set aside.

  2. Now place butternut squash in the blender/processor (no need to wash it – yay!) and pulse until finely chopped. Set aside.

  3. Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the ground lamb. Do not disturb for 4 minutes until the lamb is browned on one side. Now use a wooden spoon to break the meat into bite-sized chunks (size of mini meatballs). Flip each chunk and brown the other side for 2 minutes.

  4. Add in the riced olives, butternut, cinnamon, raisins, and sea salt. Stir well, cover with a lid, and reduce heat to low. Cook for 5-6 more minutes. Serve warm.