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Talk to your friends and family about your autoimmune disease and why you’re doing AIP. Explain to them that social support is necessary for your success and that you need to continue to spend time with them even if you can’t eat or drink the same things right now. Don’t be shy or embarrassed of this but remember to be patient if they don’t seem to understand or respect your decision to do the AIP. Ignorance can be obliterated through education.
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Meet new likeminded friends. Go to meetup.com or thepaleomomcommunity.com to find local members of the Paleo and AIP community … you can NEVER have enough friends! I only stopped feeling alone in my autoimmunity once I joined and actively participated in these support groups and began emailing back and forth with women who not only understood me but could offer valuable and empathic advice. Recently I got to meet Paleo Cajun Lady and The Bacon Mum at a book signing, and I felt instantly connected to these ladies through our AI experiences. I had dinner with Sarah & Stacy after that same book signing, and I cannot tell you how relieving it was too not be the only person at the table with food restrictions! Every black sheep wants to be part of the herd at some point.
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Join online support groups such as The Paleo Approach Community and AIP Support groups on Facebook such as this oneor this one . You don’t have to meet people face-to-face to feel like you know them these days. I can think of two handfuls of women who I can count on for help or advice at the drop of a hat that I’ve never met in person.
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Do “normal” things. Go to happy hours with friends and bring a bottle of kombucha that you can pour over ice at the bar. Go dancing with your girls and let yourself sleep off the late night on Sunday. Join a yoga studio or group fitness gym and get to know the members so you feel like you’re socializing by default an hour each day! I’ve made several friends at my gym and although we don’t gather outside of class, we still spend time laughing and catching up with each other every day.
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Sarah Ballantyne asked the AIP blogging community help develop The Paleo Approach Dinner Club e-book for good reason! We all know how difficult it is to participate in food and alcohol-related social events while on AIP (and isn’t that like 95% of the stuff we do with our friends in the first place??) An AIP dinner club is a group of individuals dedicated to gathering for a potluck each week to enjoy nourishing food together and to laugh and tell stories like normal people (hey, we need fun too!) If you feel lost and lonely on AIP, a dinner club is going to change your perspective and revitalize your social energy.
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Don’t put a wedge between you and your friends. Make an effort not to turn down their offers for social outings or they will start thinking you don’t want to or can’t hang out with them while on AIP which is NOT true. If you are too tired to go out, ask them if they’ll stay in with you and watch a movie. Explain why. If they never take you up on your offer, you’re not missing out on much anyways. I was really bad about this for awhile, partly because I inherently didn’t like the dive bars they go to and partly because I felt like “what’s in it for me?” – uh freakin’ friendships, that’s what!
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Don’t keep your autoimmune disease to yourself. I spent the first 6 years of my diagnosis prior to starting this blog very rarely talking about Hashimoto’s, leaky gut, or histamine intolerance, even with my family. I went to every scary doctor’s appointment by myself and got stuck with dozens of needles without ever having someone there to distract me or hold my hand. I became a little resentful of my friends who never asked or seemed to wonder about my less than admirable health. This started a cycle with my friendships and I became the one who stopped calling… they didn’t seem to care about what I was going through because they didn’t KNOW what I was going through. How could they support me if I didn’t let them in? Educate your friends on your symptoms and how they can make leading your old “normal” life difficult. Call them when you’re not feeling well and let them bring over AIP-compliant food or help you walk your dog. A lot of people with autoimmunity are Type A personalities (“we can do everything ourselves!!!!”), but don’t let those pesonality traits get in the way of feeling social inclusion and belongingness on your AIP journey… after all it is just as important as food, sunshine, and exercise!
One Response
Thanks for posting this. I’ve been pretty weepy today, and this is just what I needed to read.